


In Which Jeremy Heere and Evan Hansen Attempt To Remain Straight

by zoeticValidation



Series: This is the Thunderdome [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Child Abandonment, Featuring The Insanely Cool Jared Kleinman, Gen, He makes a teeny appearance, I Don't Even Know, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, Major Character Injury, Masturbation, Texting, Underage Drinking, What am I doing, also there is some serious denial, au where connor and evan were friends for a long time, connor is in ap english because i can, jeremy and michael are the grade below because it was mentioned that they were juniors, just a few little things, literally every relationship is one sided, tons of it, updated june 28 2017, you guys asked for jeremy and evan so here it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-11-08 15:42:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11084727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoeticValidation/pseuds/zoeticValidation
Summary: You know how the old saying goes: the friend of my friend of my friend is... also probably going to end up being my friend.Alternate Summary: Jeremy Heere and Evan Hansen aren't so different.





	In Which Jeremy Heere and Evan Hansen Attempt To Remain Straight

**Author's Note:**

> Spoiler alert: They fail miserably.

\-- schoolSurvivalist [SS] began texting anxiousAcorn [AA] at 22:25 [25/01/17] --  
  
SS: i hope i got the right handle  
SS: this is evan hansen right  
AA: yyeah  
AA: who arew you?  
AA: crap im seorry about the typos  
SS: don’t worry dude it’s fine  
SS: i’m jeremy heere  
SS: i’m michael’s friend, who is connor’s friend, who i think is your friend?  
SS: michael gave me your handle so that we could be friends or something?  
SS: but i don’t know  
SS: making friends with your friend’s friend’s friend through texting seems like the most ass-backwards way of meeting someone  
AA: i gess this is prettty weird huh  
SS: yeah just a little  
AA: ...  
SS: .......  
AA: ...........  
SS: ...............  
AA: haha ok tyiping out elipses is only going to make it more awkward  
SS: yes that means i won  
SS: i had the longest one in the end  
AA: i ddont think it was suposed to be a contest  
SS: wait you’re connor murphy’s friend right?  
SS: do you smoke too?  
AA: WHAT  
AA: no!  
AA: no of coourese i dont smoke just bbeacause connor is my friend meanas i do all the things tthat he does!  
SS: woah sorry for assuming  
SS: i get high with michael in his basement occasionally  
SS: i just wanted to know  
SS: so what do you like  
AA: umm  
AA: i guess ilike trees  
AA: and i like writing  
AA: which is probabbly a paradoxz because i maek the worst spellign mistakes  
SS: yeah phone screens are pretty crappy  
SS: if only we had some kind of app that let us talk to each other using any device  
SS: and worked without wifi or something  
SS: i’d love to pester all my chums without having to worry about my fucking wifi for once  
AA: sorry if thiss is rude but  
AA: wht the hell are you talkiong about?  
SS: sorry i ramble sometimes and end up saying the weirdest shit  
SS: like who even says “chum” unironically anymore?  
AA: heh yeah it is a bitt outdated  
AA: shoot i havve to go  
AA: see you later jeremy  
SS: alright bye  
  
\-- anxiousAcorn [AA] ceased texting schoolSurvivalist [SS] at 22:31 [25/01/17] --

* * *

AA: hey jeremy  
AA: did you understand the englsish homework at all?  
SS: nope  
SS: don’t know why you’re asking me dude, i'm a sophomore  
AA: oh  
AA: im sorry righat i shouldnt have bothered you  
AA: ill just go  
SS: no wait dude i wasn’t trying to get you to leave  
SS: i don’t get my homework either  
SS: hey isn’t connor in ap english with alana beck?  
SS: you should probably ask him for help he’d have way more answers than i do  
AA: i dontw ant to bother him  
AA: his homework is probably way harder than mine is he shoudnt have to drop everything to hlep me figure out how to write an arguementatitve paragraph  
AA: god i cant even argue in everyday life how am i going to do it fo ran assignment!  
AA: really i shouldnt have bothered you with this either  
AA: sorry jeremey  
SS: dude you’re not bothering me  
SS: we’re sort of friends now  
SS: you have permission to vent at me if you’re stressed  
SS: also i have reports from michael that ap english is the only class that connor does his homework for  
SS: he’s probably done by now and if he doesn’t want to help you then he’s an asshole  
AA: okay  
AA: yeah youre probably right  
AA: ill ask him later  
SS: how did connor even get into ap english anyway?  
AA: its not really that surprisng once you get to know him!  
AA: hes always really liked reading  
AA: when i met him in second grade he was alwayws readng ahead of the class becasue he felt like the teacher was babying us  
AA: he finished the lord of the rigns series at the start of thrid grade  
AA: sometiems people wouldnt even notice that he was there because hea lways stuck his face in his books and hten his hair would cover up the rest of his face and unless you knew him nobody would even know that it was connor  
AA: and when hes really into a book he geats this super intense look on his face and he told me that when he really lkies a book he completely forgets the restt of the world even exists he just gets so immerseda nd sometimes youd have to call hsi name a coulpe times or even shake his shoulder before he finally snapped out of it  
AA: but somtimes i dont even bother trying to snap him out of it when hs reading  
AA: like reaecntly he got inot this book called dantes inferno  
AA: whenever hes over at my housee and hes reading it i somehtimes like to watch because he looks so focused and its a look that ehe never gets anywhere else so its like really  
AA: special  
SS: wow  
SS: um  
SS: okay then  
SS: what were we originally talking about  
AA: sorrysorry i was rambling im so sorry  
AA: that happens a lot and i know its wierd im just gonna go now for real  
SS: evan wait  
  
\-- anxiousAcorn [AA] ceased texting schoolSurvivalist [SS] at 19:27 [14/2/17] --  
  
SS: dammit

* * *

\-- schoolSurvivalist [SS] began texting anxiousAcorn [AA] at 10:34 [20/04/17] --  
  
SS: hey  
SS: random question but  
SS: do you...  
SS: like video games?  
AA: thats not that random  
AA: aslo i wouldnt really know if i do or not  
AA: i woudlnt really be able to afford a console to find out or anything  
SS: oh  
SS: i’m sorry  
AA: wait i ddidnt mean it taht way its not like im cripplingly poor or anything  
AA: its just that my parents had more important things tso spend money on  
AA: and my (family) frined jared never let me play with his stuff becase he said i woudnt get it  
SS: dude whatever jared or whoever told you was total bs  
SS: anybody can “get” video games  
SS: maybe you could come over and play at my house  
SS: be warned though i only have really out of print games from the nineties  
AA: really?  
AA: wouldnt i jst mess up your progress or somehting?  
SS: nah dude i’d just open up a new save file for you  
SS: it’s not that hard  
AA: but then id jusst take forever to even learn the controls  
SS: that’s why i’ll be there to help you out  
AA: and id probably be really bad at it because ive never played before  
SS: you’ll get the hang of it eventually, trust me  
AA: and then what if my hands get really sweaty and i dmage your controller or something like taht  
SS: dude  
SS: chill  
AA: sorrry i was probbly being really annoying right?  
AA: ill stop  
SS: seriously it’s okay  
SS: you’re not annoying, and i’m not mad  
SS: to be honest you kind of remind me of me  
AA: huh?  
SS: until 6th grade i never had a gaming console or anything  
SS: my mom thought it was a waste of time and my dad wasnt about to argue with her  
SS: finally my friend michael mell, i think you’ve probably heard about him from connor, yeah he invited me over to play with his shitty snes  
SS: i was super nervous when i got there, because i was so sure i was going to lose and embarrass myself in front of my best friend  
AA: so what happened?  
SS: michael kicked my ass  
SS: hard  
SS: seriously i got destroyed  
AA: this isnt mnaking me feel any better jeremy  
SS: lemme finish jeez  
SS: but yeah i got my ass beat but michael made me feel better after we finished  
SS: he said i’d eventually get way better, and that i only lost because i’d never played before  
SS: and the next week for my birthday he got me a snes  
SS: best gift i ever got  
SS: i’ve still got it actually  
SS: i don’t know how or where 6th grade michael even got it, but it’s so cool that i don’t even care  
AA: sounds like he really cares about you  
SS: yeah i guess he does

* * *

SS: wait so you’re saying you have a crush on zoe murphy?  
SS: you’re a junior right?  
AA: yaeh so?  
SS: isn’t that just a little weird? she’s a sophomore like me.  
AA: its jsut one year!!  
AA: i dont know why the graed didfference is such a bigh deal  
SS: it’s just that you’re going to graduate a whole year before she does  
SS: i just think that would make dating a little hard and awkward  
SS: dude you’re going to be a legal adult an entire 365 days before she will be at least  
AA: maybe it is kidna weird  
AA: if conorr ever found out hed probably kill me  
SS: why? it’s just his sister?  
AA: not for connor  
AA: zoe is the only pewrson in his family that he can stand  
AA: hed neveer tell enyone but hes super protective of her  
AA: and he dtalks about her the time  
SS: so maybe dating her isn’t a good idea?  
SS: dating your best friend’s sister is kind of a low blow  
AA: i dondt know  
AA: ists a silly scrush anyway its not lke shed like me if she new me  
AA: i cant even fricking text people withoust making a million goddamn tyops  
SS: don’t beat yourself up dude  
SS: at least we can bond over our completely hopeless crushes  
AA: ?  
SS: i like christine canigula  
SS: even though she’s completely out of my league  
SS: and i can’t talk to her without my brain switching off  
SS: and she could do so much better than me  
AA: jerremy what are you takling about?  
SS: oh my god evan don’t try to make me feel better about this alright?  
SS: why would someone like christine even notice someone like me?  
SS: a guy who beats off to cheaply made pornos when he’s alone in his room  
SS: and gets to school disgusting every morning no matter how hard he tries because he has to fucking walk the whole 2 miles  
SS: and who’s so unbearable even his own mother couldn’t fucking stand him  
AA: jeremy heere  
AA: its okay  
SS: no it’s fucking not  
  
\-- schoolSurvivalist [SS] ceased texting anxiousAcorn [AA] at 14: [17/06/17] --

* * *

\-- anxiousAcorn [AA] began texting schoolSurvivalist [SS] at 12:16 [19/06/17] --  
  
AA: i kknow itd be stutid of me to ask if youw were okay:  
AA: but are you okay?  
AA: i havent haerd from you in a couple days and im a little worried  
AA: well anywayas happy summer vacation  
AA: i managed to pass every calass somehow  
AA: senior year is goiing to be horrible thouhgh i just know it  
AA: ... jeremy im worried please awnser soon  
  
\-- anxiousAcorn [AA] ceased texting schoolSurvivalist [SS] at 12:18 [19/06/17] --

* * *

\-- anxiousAcorn [AA] began texting schoolSurvivalist [SS] at 15:41 [21/06/17] --  
  
AA: hello jerermy  
AA: i got a summer job as an apprentice park ranger atn ellison state park a while back  
AA: its pretty cool, i get to be a round trees all day so thats pretty nifty i would say  
AA: the uniform makes me look like a loser  
AA: well, moree of a loser gthan normal  
AA: but connor complemented it  
AA: he sais that it looks “cute” on me  
AA: is it werid that my best friend called me cute?  
AA: i cant tell wheather he was joking or not  
AA: well he must havae been  
AA: i dont really know what friendly behavor is supposed to be like  
AA: may be calling eachother cute is normal?  
AA: because sometimes connor puts his harir up into a ponytail and its  
AA: really cute  
AA: but im getting sidetracked  
AA: i hope yourre alright  
AA: i heard from connor wh o heard from michael that youre okay  
AA: but i jsut wanted to make sure for myself  
SS: sorry for ignoring you  
SS: just please leave me alone for a bit okay?  
  
\-- schoolSurvivalist [SS] ceased texting anxiousAcorn [AA] at 15:45 [21/06/17] --

* * *

\-- schoolSurvivalist [SS] began texting anxiousAcorn [AA] at 24:06 [22/06/17] --  
SS: so it was pretty uncool of me to freak out last time  
SS: sorry  
AA: dont be soirry  
AA: do you want to takl about it?  
SS: maybe a bit  
SS: but can you start talking first  
AA: okay first tjhings first  
AA: youre definitley not unbearable  
AA: if your mom left you  
AA: then thatts all her fault  
AA: she might have tried to push that balme for her leaving on you  
AA: probably so hse wouldnt feel guilty  
AA: trust me  
AA: i know  
AA: but i bet that you bellieved everythng that she said about you  
AA: and i bet you ststill believe it  
AA: but trust me whenn i say that she isnt worht anymore of your time or your thoughts or your energy  
AA: shes not your mom anymore  
AA: she isnt alowwed to have any more input into your life  
SS: how can you be lecturing me about my mom, and how i should feel?!  
SS: you don’t get it!  
AA: my dad walked aout of my life 9 years ago  
AA: i think i might just uunderstand  
SS: ...  
SS: ugh  
SS: i’m so sorry for snapping at you  
SS: that was dickish  
AA: you were nmad  
AA: thats okay  
AA: yu dont have to apologise for feeling an emontion  
SS: i’m still sorry for assuming that i knew better than you did  
SS: so he left when you were seven?  
AA: yeah  
AA: i dont really have that many good memmories of him  
AA: he bought me one of my favorite bacpacks  
AA: but thats arll i can really remember  
AA: he used ot hate it when i complained about anything  
AA: he mdae me feel powerless  
AA: he made me scard to even speak  
SS: can i  
SS: ask how?  
AA: no  
SS: ok  
SS: sorry  
AA: so yeah hetr eated me and my mom like garbage  
AA: wen he refuseed to deal with us he would just leave and hit up clubs all the t ime  
AA: he actually met my stepmom at the bar that he used to get drunk kat  
AA: then he finally just up and leeves  
AA: there waes a truck in the drivway and it hthought that dad brought it to apologize because i used to love trucks  
AA: but then after a couple housr of humoring me he left  
SS: your dad is fucking crappy  
SS: my parents didn’t have a split that bad  
SS: it was only a couple of months ago actually  
SS: my mom just got really up with my dad’s flimsy ass attitude  
SS: she thought that he wasn’t mature or something and that it was time they “parted ways”  
SS: she just got  
SS: tired of us  
SS: and i can’t blame her to be honest  
SS: my dad had no spine while she was here, he was more like her son than her husband  
SS: and  
SS: and i know that i was a disappointment when i came along  
SS: but it still hurts  
AA: i kknow it does  
AA: i dont know howw else to feel anymroe

* * *

\-- anxiousAcorn [AA] began texting schoolSurvivalist [SS] at 23:20 [5/7/17] --  
  
AA: heeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy  
AA: diidd you kanow that coonnorer painsts his naials/??  
AA: hee steasls zoessz naile polsish abut he dneies it  
AA: itst reaslly kewl  
AA: and iists kinda kcute  
SS: evan just so you know i’m kind of stoned in michael’s basement at the moment  
SS: what are you talking about?  
AA: awawww athts soooo cutse  
AA: yuuu ann miccckeal are so saadorbalbe  
AA: iwish maee an d knooner wera like ahtaht  
AA: buat heddnever laike meh  
AA: cuaaz im amessedded uppp  
AA: iave got mentaeal prablmes cominag out the wkazzo  
SS: did you say michael was cute?  
SS: because if so i fucking agree dude  
SS: he fell asleep while we were playing apocalypse of the damned lvl 2 and he’s just lying on top of me  
SS: mikey drools did you know that  
AA: hhhahah i didnat no thtahat  
AA: ima t jaredds rignth now  
SS: who?  
SS: who’s jared?  
SS: is that the name you typed because i’m having a very hard time understanding you right now  
AA: heeyeyeyeye  
AA: guese ewhat!  
AA: suicuceide raites ins th us are rhighests in the sptring  
AA: suiucide is the thridd sleading causef odf detha for 15-24 yera oflds  
AA: that tmeands meeeeee  
AA: immmmm 15-24  
AA: but i weoudlnt wannat fdie in the sprringga itst so nice allth trees are alsivee  
AA: i donst wanna ruin htaat  
SS: evan i’m a little too high for this right now  
SS: what’s going on  
SS: are you okay?  
SS: your words are kind of unreadable right now  
AA: susemmer stimee is betterare  
  
\-- anxiousAcorn [AA] ceased texting schoolSurvivalist [SS] at 23:31 [5/7/17] --  
  
SS: evan?  
SS: what the fuck were you just talking about?

* * *

\-- sincerelyMemes [SM] began texting schoolSurvivalist [SS] at 7:29 [6/7/17] --  
  
SM: sry abt last nite  
SM: evan got drunk @ my house and went a lil batshit  
SS: who are you?  
SS: i read through evan’s text when i got sober  
SS: is he okay??  
SM: tbh, idek  
SM: hes down 4 the count tho  
SM: he p much passed out after he sent u that text  
SM: this is the insanely cool jared kleinman btw  
SS: why was evan drunk?  
SM: cuz me and him are drinking buds bro  
SM: since freshman year  
SM: ev just had a :/ day yesterday and came over to my place to drink his feelings away  
SM: we might have gotten carried away ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
SM: dont even worry ur lil sopht head about it  
SS: is that supposed to be a play on the word sophomore?  
SS: i’ll be a junior in the fall don’t patronize me kleinman  
SM: aaaanyway, imma go whip up some hangover cure  
SM: seeya’round tall-ass  
SS: wait you didn’t answer my question: is evan okay?  
SM: yes i did  
SM: scroll up genius  
  
\-- sincerelyMemes [SM] began texting schoolSurvivalist [SS] at 7:32 [6/7/17] --

* * *

\-- schoolSurvivalist [SS] began texting anxiousAcorn [AA] at 17:08 [20/7/17] --  
  
SS: dude i haven’t heard from you in like 2 weeks  
SS: i’m sure you understand how awkward one-sided conversations are  
SS: okay look  
SS: you sent me some pretty worrying messages last time  
SS: i’m really worried okay?  
SS: just  
SS: let me know if you’re okay, alright?  
  
\-- schoolSurvivalist [SS] ceased texting anxiousAcorn [AA] at 17:09 [20/7/17] --

* * *

\-- schoolSurvivalist [SS] began texting anxiousAcorn [AA] at 20:52 [16/8/17] --  
  
SS: the only sucky thing about summer is that you don’t get to see your friends on a regular basis  
SS: then again i don’t have that many friends to begin with...  
SS: michael doesn’t count though  
SS: i’ve seen him practically every day of summer vacation so far  
SS: michael’s been over at my house basically every other day, and the other half of the time i’m at his  
SS: we finally got to level 5 of apocalypse of the damned, which was awesome  
SS: for a nineties zombie game it’s pretty fucking difficult  
SS: me and mike also got matching pac-man tattoos  
SS: we didn’t tell our parents or anything so we had to get them done at this pretty shady place but it was totally safe and worth it  
SS: honestly i thought getting them would hurt a lot more, but it probably helped that michael held my hand the whole time  
SS: not in a gay way though, just in a “i’m a supportive friend that’s here for you” kind of way, you know?  
SS: it’s so cool that we can just do stuff like that with each other without awkwardness you know?  
SS: it’s one of the reasons michael’s basically my favorite person  
SS: but i need to get back on topic  
SS: i heard from michael who heard from connor that you’re in the hospital???  
SS: what happened?  
SS: michael doesn’t know any of the specifics because connor is apparently refusing to tell him  
SS: so what gives man??  
AA: hey  
AA: sorrys my tytping might bee ven worse beacause i can only suse one hand  
AA: i broke my left aram  
SS: holy shit  
SS: when did this happen?  
AA: slomething likes 2 weeks aogo  
AA: it wasant anyhting seriosru  
SS: dude, breaking a fucking bone is classified as a “seriosru” issue okay!  
SS: does this have anything to do with what you texted me about while you were drunk off your ass like a month ago?  
AA: why woud uoy evane ask that?  
SS: evan that’s not an answer  
SS: you kept rambling on about suicide and i got really worried because by the time i was able to read it was already like a day later  
AA: it hand nothing to dso with taht  
AA: i jsut fell outta of a treaa while i aws at work  
AA: okay?  
SS: okay...  
AA: ......  
SS: .........  
AA: ..............  
SS: .....................  
AA: ..........................  
SS: okay this conversation has grown increasingly stupid  
AA: ahem  
AA: i beleive that means that i win  
SS: uggghhh  
SS: wait i just had a thought  
SS: if you fell out of a tree, then who drove you to the hospital  
SS: there had to have been someone around to get you right?  
AA: haha yeah of course there was  
AA: yeah um  
AA: connior drove me  
AA: so i dindnt have to walk all athe way to the hospital by myself alone  
SS: wow  
SS: sounds like he really cares about you dude  
AA: yea  
AA: i guess hse kinda does

**Author's Note:**

> \- i needed soft angsty boys bonding over conflicted crushes and absent parents alright?  
> \- it was also implied within deh that jared and evan have drank together at least once  
> \- evan has shaky hands(tm) when texting because i love to project  
> \- the heere's and the hansens but also the mell's and the murphy's  
> \- it's like destiny  
> \- this is all dialogue and text-fic because the next part of the series won't have any text conversations  
> \- in fact be on the look out for a heathers/be more chill oneshot  
> \- i love suggestions, so i've been looking through those for little one shot ideas as i continue to write the overall final story  
> \- writing evan is literally just an excuse for me to make whatever mistakes i want and nobody can stop me  
> \- jared kleinman has no idea what he's doing or why he's doing it and he's okay with that situation


End file.
